Lucas Conley on The Colbert Report
Despite promoting the segment under the caption “Gouge Lucas,” Colbert was more surprised than sarcastic when we actually sat down to talk yesterday. Meanwhile, I had a blast. Take a look and let me know what you think!
Tonight’s the night, folks - tune in at 11:30 PM Eastern for Colbert v. Conley: Branding Smackdown. Might be fun… then again, it might be a funeral. Wish me luck!
I’ll post again in the next day or two to respond and reflect.
A couple colleagues have suggested that I publish material cut from the book during the edit process here on the blog. “Think of your book like a film,” said one. “It gets a tight edit for the theatrical release, but the blog is like the DVD version—you can include all the cut scenes and extras that were lost along the way.”
You might be thinking, Hey, Lucas, your editor no doubt had a reason for cutting the stuff in the first place. Why publish potentially substandard or irrelevant material? It’s a valid question—but, thing is, it’s often the material writers love most that we’re encouraged to cut. In fact, the dilemma is common enough among writers to merit its own gruesome little adage: Drown your kittens. So with that, I introduce you to “Drowned Kittens,” an (occasional) blog series devoted to unpublished OBD reporting. Enjoy!
The Arrival of Coke and Pepsi
It was the late 19th century. No claim was too outrageous—no marketing too extreme. Just as the American public was obsessed with skyscrapers, racing to erect taller and taller totems of capitalism, marketers were doing the same with brands, heaping one ridiculous claim on top of the next until their products outboasted all rivals. Many of today’s most dominant brands sprang out of this era of frenzied exaggeration. In 1886, a husky, generously bearded pharmacist from Atlanta named John Pembleton mixed up extracts of the coca plant and the kola nut and proclaimed it, among other things, an “esteemed brain tonic and intellectual beverage.” Indeed, Coca-Cola’s zippy concoction of cocaine and caffeine, not to mention some good old-fashioned sugar, were guaranteed to live up to Pembleton’s promise of an “exhilarating,” “invigorating” drink for the nerves.
Two years after Pembleton began selling Coca-Cola in Atlanta, Caleb Bradham, a pharmacist 500 miles to the east, in New Bern, NC, founded Pepsi-Cola to market his own special recipe. Where Pembleton had opted for cocaine, Bradham apparently called for pepsin, an enzyme that helps the stomach break down food. (Pepsin gets its name from pepsis, the Greek word for digestion.) Bradham’s early ads boasted that Pepsi-Cola “aids digestion” and was a “pure combination of pepsin—that’s what your stomach needs these days.”
Today, neither Coke nor Pepsi contain the ingredients from which their names were derived. Cocaine was phased out of Coke by 1929. Pepsin? If Bradham did include it, it’s gone today. Various theories accounting for the name are available—one noting that Pepsi-Cola is an anagram for Episcopal. The official history on Pepsi’s Web site mentions neither the enzyme nor the religious congregation. As the recipes faded from memory, so did the marketing linking them to their ingredients. In reality, it’s debated that Pepsi ever contained pepsin; Bradham may have just branded it as such for a marketable hook. Up against miracle cures like Hamlin’s Wizard Oil [a brand I'll return to in another post] it’s easy to understand why Pembleton and Bradham resorted to wild claims to boost their brands.
It’s been a crazy couple of weeks promoting the book. Spent last week in sweltering NYC, running around Manhattan and speaking with various media outlets. I discovered some great programs in the process - more on those below. Before I get caught up in tour highlights, a heads up to all OBD readers: I’m currently scheduled to appear on Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report this coming Monday, August 4th. Tune in and watch me get eaten alive! Better yet, send me your feedback (and hey, should you have any tips or suggestions in advance, I’m all ears).
Returning to last week’s NY mini-tour… The week kicked off with an hour-long studio interview with Tim Bennett and John Nash of XM radio’s “The Focus Group” (Mondays, 8-9 AM ET on XM’s “Take Five” - Channel 155). Smart guys - great discussion covering much of the book. The actual air date is pending - I’ll keep you in the loop.
Up next - www.BigThink.com - “a YouTube for ideas.” Really cool; give it a look (great profile in the New York Times [sub. req.]). BigThink adopts an unusual and intriguing format - kind of a new-media cocktail of documentary-style film making, online broadcasting, and, as the name implies, compelling soapbox topics. Think old-school Fast Company meets YouTube. (The first thing my agent said when I told him about it: “Interesting. Is there a book about it yet?”) Actors, authors, senators—the site features big ideas from all corners of media, politics, art, entertainment, and more. For a good example of what it’s about, check out this great feature package on “The Bleak Future of the Internet,” including perspective from Wikipedia’s Jimmy Wales, the CEO of Netscape, and others. I’ll put out the word when they upload my bit on OBD.
Wrapping up the week on Friday, I drove up to New London, CT, to meet with John Troland, the creator and host of Business Beat Live. An accountant by trade, Troland took up an interest in television 1994. Today, he’s syndicated in a number of US states and 17 other countries. John and I had an hour to speak about the book, and he even incorporated a number of questions about my Top 10 Overrated Brands list for the Boston Globe. Lively discussion. As with the others above, I’ll post once I hear when the show will air.
If you’re still reading, it’s time to move on… check this out.
This just in! Morning news anchors across the country lose their last shred of dignity.
Yes, in search of a little extra cash to ballast the “lighter side of the news,” network affiliates around the US have been participating in a McDonald’s product placement campaign, tactfully situating cups of McDonald’s coffee in front of their morning news anchors. Spotted first by the Las Vegas Sun at local Fox affiliate KVVU, a McDonald’s spokeperson claims the product placement campaign also reaches morning news programs in Seattle (KCPQ), Chicago (WFLD), and New York (Univision 41). Get this: According to the Sun, it’s not even real coffee!
The story has a number of other good McNuggets - including an anxious quote from the marketing team about “pull[ing] our product off set” if any bad news about McDonalds came up. The best gem comes direct from the news director at the Vegas station: “There was a healthy dose of skepticism [about the product placement campaign] and I’m pleased there was,” said Adam P. Bradshaw, of KVVU. “It means they’re being journalists.” Sorry, Bradshaw. If they were journalists before, they sure aren’t now.
In related news, while you’ll have to get off your duff to grab a cup of McDonald’s coffee, TiVo and Amazon are moving forward on a deal that will allow you to buy the stuff you see on TV right from your couch with a click of your remote. And never fear, should you take a detour from your favorite sitcom to buy the products discretely featured there (coming to you at a rate of five per minute in some cases) TiVo will record the product placements you miss during the purchase process.
First came advertisements on barf bags. Then it was the fold-down trays. Now even the white spaces on the boarding passes have been surrendered to advertising. (Thanks to A Clear Eye For Branding’s Tom Asacker for forwarding this one.) According to Advertising Age, six major airlines have opted to use the empty space on travelers tickets for “targeted coupons, ads, dining recommendations and weather information.” The story also points out that ads have made their way onto overhead bins, ticket jackets, and baggage carousels. Anything they’re missing? I’m thinking attendants’ foreheads are next… Not out of the question, at least. Even an odorless cabin is considered a white space; Singapore Airlines has patented an official scent that is infused into its hot towels and given to its all-female corps of attendants to wear as perfume.
Andrea Learned, of Learned on Women, offers an intriguing alternative to filling every last millimeter of white space with ads. Click here to read her piece on the Huffington Post.
Copyright Lucas Conley 2008
A couple things on my radar today…
I kicked off a series this morning at The Huffington Post on the symptoms of OBD. Take a read and let me know what you think. More symptoms to follow in the days ahead.
Starbucks selling speed? Brand Autopsy’s John Moore captures Starbucks debasing itself with a fast-food pitch. Typical OBD; claim one identity until it suits you to claim another.
Then there’s “What’s the Buzz? Undercover Marketing and the Corruption of Friendship,” an article I missed earlier this year, am very curious to read, and can thank Concurring Opinions for bringing to my attention.
Not sure I understand why an NFL version of Pepsi will come “with a kick of lemon,” but that’s the plan this August, when the company plans to relaunch Pepsi Twist (RIP, 2000-2006) as “Pepsi Kickoff” with the help of Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo. Begs the question - were football fans really drinking enough Pepsi Twist to spur the rebranding to Pepsi Kickoff? Guess it makes about as much sense as Booty Sweat or Latke-flavored soda!
Interesting list of past and current Pepsi varietals here…
Copyright Lucas Conley 2008
I’ll let this one speak for itself. Leberecht is one of the uniquely bright minds behind Frog Design…
The Most Exclusive Brand in the World
By Tim Leberecht
The most exclusive brand in the world does not sell anything. Nor does it provide values, programs, or policies. It doesn’t have a web site, a retail presence, a Facebook profile, a customer or member base. It is not clear whether the brand is a company, a non-profit, a political organization, a club, or a person.
Only few people have heard of the most exclusive brand in the world, most haven’t…
Continued at Tim’s blog, iPlot…
The nascent industry of formalized word-of-mouth marketing reached a new milestone this summer. Marketers are “lurching towards some sort of standardized ROI metric” for word-of-mouth marketing campaigns, according to a recent article in Brandweek. In the piece, a pair of industry authorities put the value of a WOM conversation at 50 cents a pop.
It just me, or is this surreal? Inevitable in a market swept up in OBD, yes. But it still sounds like something out of a William Gibson or Max Barry novel.
Looking forward, it’s easy to imagine where this will go. If they’re not already, marketers will bundle their extra chatty advocates - those folks more successful at spreading the word and driving sales - into premium packages, with higher per-conversation cost points. Better WOMers will likely receive more encouragement and compensation (be it award points, gifts, nicer samples, trips, standing in their WOM community, etc). And then? Geographically- or web-based WOM teams? WOM competitions? A social backlash, resulting in licensed “WOM-free” online forums or communities?
Maybe I’m way off base here. Where do you see WOM going in the next 5, 10, 15 years? More important, where should the industry be headed?
